And it’s all been done since March / April of last year. I wish I knew the exact date, but I can’t seem to track it down. Again, though, I’m getting ahead of myself.

My first genuine encounter with “horn head” was, in retrospect, regrettable: February 14, 2003, Ben Affleck and all. I went with a friend’s girlfriend, who wanted to see it more than he did, which seemed to me like a great opportunity. In hindsight, I really wish it had been my date Colin Ferrell sent a sai sailing into, but I digress. Point is, at the time, my dad was the only really solid DD source I had, and he hadn’t picked up an issue in decades. Still, he knew enough to shoot the bull with after the family had seen it, and helped impress a few things into me: Kingpin was too big to ever be played in real life by anyone, Matt Murdock would never have been seen fighting anyone in broad daylight, in street clothes, on a playground, etc. But my pop watches movies to be entertained, and it had done the trick, so we arrived at a “fair” rating on the whole thing. The only other outcome was that I started looking around our local Books-a-Million for any DD trades – my standard response to all super-hero films at that point in my life. I tried reading both Frank Miller’s Man without Fear and Smith’s Guardian Devil; I knew both of those names, and so was interested, but as with many comics I tried to read back then, the art wasn’t glitz-gloss or manga-esq enough for me. So the film remained my only real look into Hell’s Kitchen, which was ok with me back then. So I’ll leave the movie alone. For now.

I would be remiss if I didn’t put at least some attention into the development of my comics interest during between the two dates I’ve given you so far. I mean, it’s only seven years or so. The short version is this: I liked manga throughout college (’03-’06) and still do, though to a lesser extent; the only American comics I tended to read then were those with Star Wars at the top, or the aforementioned movie-inspired forays into Marvel / DC. The three big catalysts to the huge “funny book” fan I am now all came after I moved to Annapolis for grad school in fall of ’07.

1. I read the first few trades of DMZ at the Borders near the theater I worked at, and so began to look more into the indie comics published by Vertigo.
2. One of my managers saw me reading there, and so shared his Punisher MAX trades with me, which started a chain reaction of comics reading at the theater.
3.  In May of ’08, Third Eye Comics opened less than a mile from the theater, and I met the owner Steve, whose ability to gauge what people will like is mind-blowing.

Even with all these influences, though, it was a long time before I owned anything within a mainstream “cape” continuity. Sure, I had the occasional self-contained trade, but I think even all of those were Batman. I like Batman, always have. No, it wasn’t until I had known Steve for a while that he got me to finally read an ongoing superhero series: Ed Brubaker’s Captain America. I loved it, immensely, and added Brubaker to my list of authors to keep an eye on. The only other Marvel stuff that really piqued my interest were in the alternate “Noir” universe. I picked up the Punisher, Wolverine, and Daredevil arcs under that brand, and enjoyed them all. If you want to talk Noir, though, our man J.S. Wolfwood is the resident expert. But the DD run gave me my first taste of Hell’s Kitchen in years. And I liked it.

The big payoff came in March / April of 2010, my girlfriend (Bama from Blue-Eyed Curiosity) and I were in Third Eye buying her some comics so she could see if she liked them, and she said “I liked the movie Daredevil. We should look for that.” I looked at the DD trades, and low-and-behold was a “Volume 1″ with Brubaker’s name on it. Sold.

Turns out that particular trade started with issue #82 and went to #87, and as such not really what we had been looking for; I still need to buy her Miller’s Man Without Fear so she can have a good origin story on her shelf. I decided to give it a shot, and was completely blown away. Sure, I had obviously missed a few things: Matt Murdock was in jail, Elektra wasn’t dead anymore, etc. But the writing was good enough to get me hooked, and it avoided many of the problems I have with cape stories. There was no multi-dimensional war being fought, or ten thousand different characters I needed to keep track of, or a plot that I needed to buy four different trades just to make sense of. It was a story about people, and one that made me care.

I had also picked up the fantastic Daredevil: Yellow by the dynamic duo of Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale of The Long Halloween fame. Like their two other Marvel one-shots, Yellow focuses on love and loss due to Matt’s alter-ego. While not connected directly to the main run, it only served to heighten my interest in these characters.

So in July of 2010, I acquired the rest of Brubaker’s run (#88-120), an oversized trade that contained Smith’s #1-8 and David Mack’s #9-15, and the first of three massive trades that collect all of Brian Michael Bendis’s run, starting with #16-19/26-40. Yes, I know there are gaps in that, gaps that I had to address later. But at that point, I was set. On a trip to Cedar Point that year, I used airport and car time to read through the Smith / Mack trade and everything Brubaker had done. I skipped the Bendis stuff because I couldn’t afford the second two trades that completed his run, and I had already read beyond them. I enjoyed every panel of it, and figured I’d pick up what remained later that summer.

Then life happened, as it tends to. I changed jobs several times, managed a massive relocation that I had been planning for a while, and so on. Somewhere in the shuffle, that first Bendis trade got left on a shelf several hundred miles away. Christmas came and went, along with a visit home; still it sat there, waiting for the pieces to fall into place. I knew that some amazing stuff was going on in the current run of DD, being written by Andy Diggle, the mind behind Losers. Finally, in July of this year, I grabbed it off my shelf. We were planning on getting to a certain teenage-wizard-movie midnight show way too damn early, and I knew I’d need reading material to kill some time.

That trade took me at least three hours to get through. I honestly kind of lost track while I was reading. It was unique, even amongst the oft-unusual and genuinely fascinating things that preceded and succeeded it. The first arc in it, “Wake Up”, is possibly the best thing I have ever read in a mainstream cape series, and Daredevil is barely in it. I didn’t really think about the rest, after that. I had known for a while that it might be possible for me to actual get my hands on this entire run, and so I took the necessary steps to do so. Since July, I have acquired everything remaining, which required me to go so far as tracking down singles from 2001, because a certain arc was never collected in a trade. But I managed it, and here it is:

• Daredevil Volume 1 (Trade); Smith / Mack; #1-15
• Daredevil Ultimate Collection Book 1 (Trade); Bendis; #16-19/26-40
• Daredevil “Playing the Camera” (Singles); Gale; #20-25
• Daredevil Ultimate Collection Book 2 (Trade); Bendis; #41-50/56-65
• Daredevil / Echo “Vision Quest” (Trade); Mack; #51-55
• Daredevil Ultimate Collection Book 3 (Trade); Bendis; #66-81
• Daredevil “The Devil, Inside and Out Vol. 1″ (Trade); Brubaker; #82-87
• Daredevil “The Devil, Inside and Out Vol. 2″ (Trade); Brubaker; #88-93
• Daredevil “Hell to Pay Vol. 1″ (Trade); Brubaker; #94-99
• Daredevil “Hell to Pay Vol. 2″ (Trade); Brubaker; #100-105
• Daredevil “Cruel and Unusual” (Trade); Brubaker; #106-110
• Daredevil “Lady Bullseye” (Trade); Brubaker; #111-115
• Daredevil “Return of the King” (Trade); Brubaker; #116-119/#500
• Daredevil “The Devil’s Hand” (Trade); Diggle; #501-507
• Daredevil “Shadowland” (Trade); Diggle; #508-512
• Shadowland (Trade); Diggle; #1-5
• Daredevil: Reborn (Singles); Diggle; #1-4

I still have to read the last three on that list, but I may take my time with those; I’m in no rush to leave the Kitchen behind for good. Hence the words you see before you. Most of these are still fresh on my mind, and the ones that aren’t can be easily accessed. I’m going to ask you to come even deeper into these alleys, and higher onto these rooftops, and to trust me along the way. To hope that it’s not just the blind leading the blind, so to speak. I’ll do my best to show you the way, and do it as Matt would.

Without fear.

Yup.

Okokok. Its Christmas season, and all of the big hitters in the gaming department have been released. This one is definitely at the top of a LOT of wish lists. Black Ops has been released for a month or so now, and is calling in a napalm strike on most of its competitors.  You liked my reference.  I’m not going to be able to fit everything about this game in to one review without going on for hours, so I’m going to try to hit on the main points.

If you played any of the other games in the series, then you’ll be able to jump right in to this one with absolutely no problem. The controls and engine are exactly what you will remember from the past titles. As a matter of fact, with the exception of a different story line for the campaign, and the zombie mode, this is MW or MW2 all over again. While not necessarily a bad thing, its more of the same.  It was a bit of a disappointment for me. With all of the hype and excitement behind it, I expected at least a few new additions, but instead, we were given small tweaks that seemed to be more gimmicks than anything else.

Campaign seems to be the most solid part of the game. The plot and all of the dialogue is all extremely well written. At the start, i just wanted to skip all of the story and just get straight to the killing, but after fighting that urge and seeing several scenes and situations play out, I was pulled in to it. Match that together with the intensely explosive action scenes sprinkled through, like its predecessors, and you have a win.  This game also sports one of the best difficulty breakdowns I’ve toyed with. Veteran is absolutely no joke, while the lower settings will let you still have fun if you’re not in it for the pro glory, achievements, trophies, etc. It’s lack of glitches or problems was also very impressive. Not once during my campaign play thru did I experience any problems. But don’t get your hopes up. I still have to talk about zombie and multi-player modes…

Now to the part you all ACTUALLY care about…the multi-player. Just like the campaign, if you’ve become familiar with the last 3 games, then you’re instantly familiar with this one. Everything is set up almost the exact same way in terms of the “how-to’s”. I still notice the same glitches and bugs ive seen from the past games also, however I’m glad that it’s been able to go this long without seeing people crank out the glitches to exploit multi-player like before. (knock on wood…) The main change that you’ll bump in to is the XP/money system. For anything and everything that you will be able to equip to one of your custom classes, you’ll have to earn both a minimum level, AND enough $$ to spend on it. While the money and experience both flow in fairly well, I still consider it to be just a tad in to the overkill department to require both. You’re also going to find the stats breakdown the give you is WAY more than the average player needs, but personally, I LOVE being given that much access to my play record. There is too much to cover all of the items, but i will tell you that the heat-map for your bullet hits is definitely my favorite out of the bunch, and apparently my bullets like to go for your “make god cry” area 99% of the time.  Another welcomed feature, which should be on every multi-player game from here on out, is the theater system in the multi-player. Threw a tomahawk that bounced off 5 objects and went across a level to kill someone? No one believed you? Now you will be able to get proof. And you can all thank my buddy, Master Chief, for that one. While this is where most people are going to spend most of their time, its the most disappointing mode for myself due to the lack of changes.

And for my personal favorite mode. ZOMBIES!!!!! It really doesn’t need as full of a review as the other modes. Its simple and to the point. Kill zombies. Survive. Move around the level. Get new guns. Rinse. Repeat. I have noticed several bugs or glitches in my many many many times playing, but nothing that really kills the flow. If you got any edition besides the regular version, then you are also given access to the other 4 maps from World at War, in addition to the two maps they give you by default. If you haven’t heard of or seen the second level, then you haven’t unlocked it. Either beat the campaign on any difficulty, or break out of your chair in the menu screen and enter the code for it on the computer against the wall. Just youtube it… This level is played in the Pentagon, and replaces the 4 different zombie slayers you’re used to with JFK, Richard Nixon, Robert Mcnamara, and Fidel Castro, complete with a boat load of zombie killing sayings they’ll toss out at you. I’m interested to see what downloadable content they will be releasing for this mode.

Done and done. The game as a whole is put together well, but the lack of changes or additions seems to keep it from being the game that it could have been. I am content with it at the very least, and its definitely worth buying, I just wish they had taken a little more time and care with it.

Call of Duty: Black Ops – 360 – 8/10

Wanna buyz it?

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I’m back to do another post! Apparently claiming I would do more writing at the end of my last post counts as a written contract in my state, yada-yada; several calls to Goldberg law offices (800-600-6014!) later, it turns out I actually do have to fill more space with letters. Fortunately, I like doing this!

Movies

• Time Bandits - Directed by Terry Gilliam, this “children’s movie” challenges beliefs in ways that most adults probably could never handle. On the outside, it’s a quirky romp through time with a band of little people determined to rob history itself blind; within this are serious questions about morality, friendship, and the nature of good and evil.
• Equilibrium - Every few years, when I haven’t seen this for a while, I somehow convince myself that it’s overrated. Then I find a friend who hasn’t seen it, and while showing it to them think “Man, I was way off.” Christian Bale stars in this 1984/ Farenheit 451 blend of action movie and political piece. Think V for Vendetta, but with Batman instead of Agent Smith at the center.
• Date Night - Tina Fey and Steve Carrell. Together. Plus James Franco and Mila Kunis in a cameo. Plus Mark Wahlberg, minus shirt. I expected good, but by-the-numbers comedy from this; what I got was sharp, poignant satire mixed with a healthy dose of genuine chemistry, and one really awesome car chase.

Television

• Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - When the original run of FMA happened, the manga hadn’t been completed yet; thus, the admittedly bad, sometimes awful second half of the series was more or less filler. Thankfully, with the full run of story now completed by the creator, the animation studio saw fit to completely reboot the franchise. The first two volumes (26 episodes) have commercial releases, and the blu-rays look flawless. And if you don’t mind reading subtitles, the whole 64-episode run is on Hulu, though I don’t know for how long.
• Rubicon - New from AMC – Breaking Bad, Mad Men, and the upcoming Walking Dead – give us their spin on the “espionage drama.” Except it’s way better than anything else that has ever tried this. Based around a fictional private-sector intel-gathering, code-breaking, foreign-policy-altering think-tank, the only thing more interesting than the conspiracy within the conspiracies are the characters themselves.
• The Venture Bros. - Now into the “second part” of its fourth season on Adult Swim, this show is just too damn funny. I really don’t know how else to describe it. Part Johnny Quest spoof, part pop-culture riffing, and all genius, my best suggestion is to have your pop build a box to teach you how awesome it is. Just remember that it sometimes gets very hot, in the box, that pop built.

Comics

• Batman & Robin by Grant Morrison – I’m aware that Morrison’s current work isn’t something everyone is a fan of. But this series – with Dick Grayson as the caped crusader, trying to wrangle an out-of-control Damian Wayne as the boy wonder – has consistently delivered for my money. Removed from this time-travel craziness, it finds it focus in examining just what these personas represent to Gotham, to the people behind the masks, and even to costumed heroes the world over. 
• Chew by John Layman – In a world where certain food has become illegal, a young detective makes his way by using his ability to psychically connect with anything he eats. Whatever ideas might spring to your mind from that statement, they’ve probably been incorporated. With elements of (and jabs at) crime dramas, prohibition-era mob fiction, and noir flicks, this is a great read for someone looking for some new indy love.
• The Marvels Project by Ed Brubaker – The man who helped resurrect Daredevil and has turned Captain America into something amazing again asks us an interesting question: What if Marvel superheroes, from first to last, weren’t just happy accidents, but part of something very carefully orchestrated? Highly reminiscent of the groundbreaking Marvels from a decade ago, this is the universe we all know so well, but through fresh eyes and without the prejudices and pre-conceptions we also know so well.

That’s all for this time.

So what with all the awesomeness floating around out there today, there’s not always time to sit down and hammer out a full article; for those of you left wanting by this, I apologize. I don’t know how frequent my input may be, so for now I’m just going to give you guys a “wham-bam-thankya-ma’am” of what’s been getting my attention.

Books

• The Prince of Nothing by R. Scott Bakker – It’s the crusades, except in the future, or maybe an alternate past; that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that this trilogy is fantastic in its scope, and though a little heavy-handed at times, has enough blood, sorcery, and gratuitous bits to keep you entertained through most of it. Book one is The Darkness that Comes Before.
• The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe – If you like your sci-fantasy heavy on the “wtf” and light on the mass-market appeal, this set is for you. Set unknown-eras into a possible future, Wolfe tackles everything from theology to philosophy to physics and beyond as he drags his main character – a torturer, complete with violent depictions – from one side of reality to another. The first two novels are collected in one tome called Shadow and Claw.
• Terry Brooks – This man has written a good half-dozen trilogies, any of which can be read separately from the others. Though many claim his work is cliché, the dude has been at it since ’77, and is arguably part of the reason high fantasy still exists. If you want something very elves-with-pointy-ears, pick up The Scions of Shannara; if modern-era demon fighting is more your thing, try out Running with the Demon.

 Games

• Metro 2033 - If you own a 360, you should get this next time you go into GameStop. If you have a computer with Steam – and if you have a PC, you need Steam – just get it now. An FPS set in post-apoc Moscow – or rather, then metro tunnels under said city – this chilling sci-fi tale has it all. Beautiful production values, a too-good-to-be-true story, tight gameplay mechanics, and several moments that will keep you up at night.
• Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light - I hate to be such an XBot, but this Live Arcade action / adventurer has sucked up many hours in my house since its release. With full on-box or online co-op, this little gem will surprise you and whoever you get to play it with you. The graphics are impressive, the puzzles are either thoughtful or oh-$#^%-a-giant-spike-wall intense, and each level has multiple challenges and time-trials to keep you coming back for more.
• Torchlight - A little more PC love, again brought to me by the goodness that is Steam. This Diablo-style loot grabber is all about becoming bigger, meaner, richer, and then selling all that old crap two level-ups later. Created by the same mind that brought us the aforementioned devil-monikered title, this single-player-only experience is the testing platform for an MMO that will launch later on down the line. If my time with this version is any indication, adding the ability to play with friends will render me useless for a month or so.

That’s all I’ve got for now; keep a weather eye on the horizon, as tomorrow should bring similar tidbits from the cinema and comics areas of entertainment.

Now. Some people might be ecstatic over this. I am definitely not one of those people. When a game gets a sequel, you at least want it to have a few new features that makes it distinguishable against the rest of the games in its series. Crackdown 2 has none of those features. The same ability and orb xp system are in play from the first one. There are no added abilities in the mix, but the now have “renegade orbs” which will flee from you when you try to collect them. After a short chase in either a car, or on foot, you’re able to snag it and add its xp to the rest of your collection. That just about concludes the new features…

The story is barely different from the original. Its the same deal with the cops and robbers part, but now there are zombies. Zombies? Yes. Zombies. A massive infection has blah blah blah blah blah. I’m a huge fan of zombies. Putting zombies in a game usually makes me buy it, but this time it just makes me sad. They are what the bulk of the redundant story centers around. For the whole game, except a hand full of missions thrown in occasionally and at the end, its all about trying to take down the zombies. You fight your way thru regular baddies to get to the zombie weapons. Use the zombie weapons. Repeat. And that is the next 4 or 5 hours of your life. The other 2 or 3 hours of the game will be filled up with you trying to max out your abilities. Then game over.  Multiplayer is almost the exact same experience, just with a friend. Your character won’t transfer over from the single player, tho. You will have to work on a new / different one in the online mode.

As far as the technical side goes, its almost rock solid. I never had any problems with any glitches or errors. It always played smoothly. Even the multiplayer seemed to run fine with no lag or problems. The blend of normal CG mixed with cell shading is really awesome to take in when you get out to the more natural parts of the game and away from the city. The real problem i found with this game is its targeting system. If there is more than one target on the screen, then good luck picking out the one you want. The targeting reticle will lock on to everything. Bad guy. Good guy. Cop. Car. Whatever. It doesnt distinguish whatsoever between who youre supposed to be shooting and who youre not, so you wind up targeting everything and the kitchen sink before youre actually able to pick out what you need to. This was an incredible hassle for me.

This game is an ok time waster. I regret putting the time in to the story because of the lack of story, and the lack of mission variation. Its good for hopping on and having 20 minutes of fun before a movie or something, but as a game that you would actually sit down and play, its just one big ‘eh’. Shoulder shrug included. I definitely would not pay full price for this game. I would feel ok paying 20 or 30 maybe, but for a game that lacks anything that should make it be called Crackdown 2 instead of Crackdown 1.5, its not worth the full launch price.

Crackdown 2

Each main division of the game has had a complete overhaul, or is a completely new addition itself. The standard campaign and multi-player are back, and now there is the addition of the Co-Op mode. Campaign is where you will be noticing the bulk of the changes. They have added in several RPG elements such as being able to earn money in missions, and use that to upgrade units, buildings, or vehicles. There is also a skill tree that resembles a World of Warcraft or Diablo style talent point system, that gives you points to invest based on completing specific bonus mission objectives. The points you invest are spent for good, also similar to their MMORPG cousins, so there will be units or upgrades that you wont have access to in one run thru of the campaign. The race focus is on the Terrans. There aren’t 3 different campaigns that you will be playing. From what I hear Blizzard will be releasing the Protoss and the Zerg campaigns separately, but this DOES NOT take away from the game. It stretches out to 29 missions total, and some of those you actually get to take over the Protoss for a bit. Some of those, however are actually branching path missions. Once you get to them you have to make the choice of which mission you take, and will affect the your game over the next few levels.

Multi-player and Co-Op are both much closer to what you already know about the Series. There is no talent or money system in either, just the standard process for tech trees and upgrades. In fact, the only real change is that its all handled thru Battle.net now. All of your info is saved on to their server, so if you were to get the itch while at a friends house, all you have to do is log in to your Battle.net account and all your info is right back at your disposal. The co-op is just the same as multi-player, except with A.I. No different features.

For those of you who played the unholy bat shit out of the first game and its expansion, you will notice a LOT of small additions and tweaks to various game actions that streamline problems from before, and that also add in some of the items that you might have wished for. Nothing super crazy, its not going to take years and years to learn. It performs just like its predecessors, so you wont have any problem picking it up and going. The units have also changed slightly. There are, of course, new units, but a few units have been taken out. No worries, tho. The replacement units all take care of replicating the jobs of what they took out. But I’ll miss my dragoons. Sigh.

Oh, and did I forget to mention the ABSTOLUTELY BREATHTAKING CINEMATIC SEQUENCES.

Starcraft II – 10/10

Well, Kinda.

The biggest thing that most of the fans have to keep in mind, at least for a little while, is that these episodes might not be perfect in every single way. Granted, the crew did release four movies since their cancellation, but they are still a little rusty. And, for the most part, that was the case last week when two brand new episodes premiered. We were willing to give the show a little bit of breathing room because we understood there was a possibility it wouldn’t be the Second Coming of Jesus that we were expecting.

That being said, the new episodes were really well-made and quite entertaining. The first of the two, “Rebirth”, was my favorite by far. It tied up the events that ended the film Into the Wild Green Yonder while setting up some great new jokes. The episode involved the Planet Express ship crashing after coming out of a wormhole while being chased by Zapp Brannigan. Fry and Leela had just declared their love for each other, before becoming piles of ash, bone, and skin. And Professor Farnsworth depserately tried to bring his dead comrades back to life through cloning, except for Fry, who seemingly somewhow survived the crash. The Professor’s plan worked as one by one, everyone came back to life, fully intact, except for Leela, who was in a vegetative state. Fry, so distraught that his love might not live, creates a robot version of her, a la Lucy Liu bot, so he doesn’t have to spend his life without her. Meanwhile, Bender is having to party for his life so after having a doomsday device shoved into him by Farnsworth. If he stops partying for even a second, the device will detonate, killing himself, and any poor soul who happens to be near him.

This episode had some fantastic jokes while nicely tying up any questions the fans had going into the premiere. Hands down, my favorite joke of the episode was after we find out Leela’s in a coma. Bender comes dancing along, singing, “Coma-coma-coma-coma-chameleon!” I honestly couldn’t stop laughing for a few minutes. Farnsworth’s joke about Comedy Central, followed by Amy’s reponse was quite clever and hilarious. With this episode, it felt like things were going to go smoothly from here on out and our good old show was back.

And then, the second episode premiered.

The premise for “In-a Gadda Da-Leela” was brilliant; an evil satellite was coming to Earth to destroy all things impure and vile, which translated into destroying the world. Zapp Brannigan is enlisted to help and ropes Leela into coming along with him. When the encounter with the satellite doesn’t go as planned, the two are stranded in a remote area with seemingly no other signs of life, and contemplate restarting civilization.

This is very much a Zapp episode. My favorite moments involved his 1950′s style, B-Movie sci-fi dreams where he always won and saved the day. It shows the kind of mand Zapp wants to be, but spends too much of his time non-deservingly thinking that really is who he is. His “fish in a barrel” bit was probably the funniest thing of the episode mostly cause it showed off classic Zapp.

I honestly thought it was a good episode for the most part. The parallels with Adam and Eve were humorous, Amy’s suggestion of an End Of The World Orgy, and the crew launching their own mission to save the world were all fun and entertaining. Everything was great…until the last five-sevin minutes. It went downhill very quickly.

Zapp’s achingly slow and increasingly predictable revelation made for a godawful ending. As it turns out, the entire stranded on a remote planet event was a massive elaborate plot by Zapp to get Leela to sleep with him again. The first two reveals were humorous,  but after that, it got really stale really quick. And then, when the satellite arrives, it believes that Zapp and Leela really are Adam and Eve, so it forces them to consummate their relationship in exchange for the sparing of the destruction of Earth, as a horrified Fry looks on. It was all quite unnecessary.

Overall, it was a good night. Longtime fans of the show will be happy with the way things have gone so far, and hopefully will continue watching. It honestly feels great to have this show back on the air. It’s almost like welcoming back a long-lost friend that you haven’t seen in years and picking up almost exactly where you left off. Here’s hoping Futurama can regain everything it’s known for and keeps its staying power. The future really is back, ladies and gentlemen. And it’s a good thing.

Go get this game. Seriously. Right now. Trade in your GTA collection and get it. Any fan of the GTA series is going to be an immediate fan of this game, assuming you dont hate the wild west with a passion. If youre skeptical because of the first title in the series, then you shouldn’t be. Redemption is a completely different game from the first, making it 10 times better right from the start.

Like I mentioned, any fan of GTA will be a fan of this due to all of the  similarities . Its incredibly easy to pick up and go with the controls, even if you havent played any of Rockstar’s other titles. Except for the inventory, the set up is the exact same as any of your beloved GTA’s. Nothing fancy, and no huge button combinations for anything at all. After about fifteen or twenty minutes of fooling around, youll be lassoing and yee-hawing with the best of em. Even the more advanced stuff like shooting from horseback, or lassoing moving targets isnt really so advanced. Id suggest just taking some time during your free roaming and just playing around with your inventory. You would be surprised at what you can pull off.

Another huge selling point for this game is the free-roaming environment. Just like tons of games now, this game is non-linear. You have the option of roaming around the desert shooting cattle as much as you please before furthering the main story or any of the side quests. So you can go take in all the sites on your own time. And thats something you definitely want to do. The environments are really really well done from the setup and placement of items, towns, etc, to the actual artistic appeal of it, which makes exploring or just goofing around that much more fun.

The missions and the story are also really well done. All the writing is great, and sticks to what it needs to stick to. No rambling or over the top speeches. No dialogue that sounds like it was written by kids. Just the great Rockstar stories and writing that you have come to expect. They even keep the vocabulary and jargon accurate to the period as well. They do a really good job of going outside the box and making missions with things that you wouldnt normally see, like herding cattle, or catching wild horses. And I know how that sounds, but once you get to it, youll have a ton of fun. I laughed, I cried, I hogtied a lady and put her on the tracks.

Multiplayer is also set up really well. There arent any new modes that you wont be used to playing already. Slayer, Team Slayer, Capture the Flag. The best part about the modes is the starting points. For every game type, regardless of objective, you start the game with a quick draw. Both teams are lined up facing each other, the announcer calls the draw, and the bullets start flying. Once one team has won, the match starts in whatever level with the normal set of rules. I still jump every time he calls the draw.

Now why youre reading this part is a mystery. I told you to go get this game a looooong time ago, and here you are … reading instead of buying and playing video games. What would your mother say?

Red Dead Redemption – XBOX 360 – 9.25 / 10

We here at LCP have both personal and independent confirmation that one of the numbers on the new posters being given out with CoD: Black Ops reserves is a phone number:

877-386-4270

When called, the number gives you an automated recording that sounds something like old jack-in-the-box or merry-go-round music, which is frequently interrupted with telegraph beeps.

Our guess? The beeps, and possibly the rhythm of the music, point towards a possible morse-code message. Whether this has anything to do with the possible “hidden beta codes” remains to be seen. For my two cents, I’m guessing more along the lines of a viral marketing campaign, like the “I Love Bees” days before Halo 2.

Update: The younger Black sibling (Tyberius, and no, not like in Star Trek) has informed me that the music playing on the recording is reminiscent of the jingle from the “Pack-a-Punch” machines used to upgrade weapons in CoD: World at War’s infamous “Nazi Zombies” multiplayer mode. Since this new CoD is also being developed by the guys at Treyarch, I’m willing to run with this.

I tried waiting for the demo to launch, but after two months of seeing the screen say “Download the demo soon”, even past the actual launch date of the game AND the movie, I figured it wasnt going to launch. And it still hasnt. I should have seen that as a sign of things to come. I have successfully wasted $50. SIGH. Again. Disappointment 2k10.

Im a huge fan of the Ironman franchise as a whole. The movies, games, animated series. Ive gotten my hands on a solid chunk of it, and this seems to be the worst one, which confuses the hell out of me seeing as how its based on one of the most anticipated movies of 2010, and definitely the summers blockbuster. You would think a little more TLC would have gone in to it. But no. Nothing about this game excited me.

Lets start with the visuals. None. Not impressive. Over it. Its, again, super confusing. Especially on this level. Iron Man and the sequel were both visually STUNNING on the screen, but somehow, somewhere, theres an editor, or a designer, or a boss man thatlet this slip by, and that needs to be fired for giving this the green light to be linked to either of the films. Even the menus are poorly designed and a sloppy attempt to recreate Stark’s personal computer system that you see him playing with in the films. The suits themselves are designed well. Theres a nice level of detail in all of the suits that youre able to unlock and use, but thats the only place youll find detail. Period. Seriously. At times it looks like someone just took a handycam and recorded someone else playing with the figures. I want to tell you just how bad the “suiting up” sequence for both Iron Man and War Machine are, but id rather not extend this review another two paragraphs.

I was suprised to look up these games on IMDB and find out that the voice talent for MOST of the main characters are the actual actors from the movie. Tony, Rhodey, Whiplash and Fury are all voiced by the appropriate actors. That would be a plus, if the acting would have wound up being decent. Buuuuut it wasnt. It kills me to say it, but it really does suck. Even RDJ and Don Cheadle are slacking big time.

The engine itself isnt really that bad in terms of controls and performance until you get in to the pre / post game suit customization. Im a big fan of being able to customize, swap parts, etc. but it needs to be done using a system that someone besides Tony Stark himself can understand. I exaggerate. But not much. You can earn credits in missions to unlock more suit variations, open up different suit upgrades, and even fabricate different parts for different reasons, but its thrown together in a clunky and confusing system that makes me want to just skip it and play with whatever load-out is ready by default.

Finally theres the plot. Sorry. I mean “plot”. Good news for spoiler haters. While the game does have an element or two in it from the game, the story is a new one created just for the games, so youre safe to play it if you havent seen the movie. Bad news is it all sucks. Everything from the actual plot to the way it was executed just makes me facepalm. They throw you from random location to random location, dont even try to piece it together for you, and then throw you in and let you blow everything up. It has a very “Wherever he lands, there shall he blow things up”, kind of feel to it. After getting about half way in, i started skipping everything that wasnt game play.

The verdict is in. I would NOT buy this game until it drops to around $20 range. Rent it for sure. Its a fun game as long as you play it in maybe 20-30 minute spurts, but after that you just start getting annoyed at how bad everything looks, and start suffering from repetitive stress disorder from doing the same mission objectives over and over. Its the same problems that the first game and similar comic-movie games, like Superman Returns, suffer from. I guess all of this is why the demo didnt launch. If it had i dont think i would have bought this game…Sigh.

Iron Man 2: TVG – 4.5 / 10