Loaded Couch Potatoes

What the fuck, America?

(1)  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ($112 million, $26.453 per screen, $201.2 million total):  America, you got a “what the fuck” from me once already this year after the opening weekend of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but this time, you’ve really done it.  Honestly, what the fuck?!?  As a giant fan of the movie industry, I’m thrilled to see any movie pull in $200 million in five days, but I am genuinely mystified and unsettled for Revenge of the Fallen – a movie with virtually no actual value — to be the one to have done it.  There are positives I am going to choose to take away from all this: one, that the industry as a whole is still quite strong in terms of its potential; and, two, that this is probably a good omen for how future sequels such as Iron Man 2 and Star Trek 2/12 will perform.

All ire aside, it’s a phenomenal debut, and once the final figures are released, there’s a possibility that The Dark Knight could be unseated as the top five-day earner in movie history.  The question now is, how much more will Revenge of the Fallen make during its run?  It’ll almost certainly be well past $300 million by the time I write this column again, and $400 million would seem to be a lock.  Past that, frankly, I don’t care to think about.

(2)  The Proposal ($18.4 million, $6039 per screen, $69 million total):  The rest of the top 10 seems almost irrelevant considering how well Transformers did, but let’s soldier on anyways.  The giant robots threw everything for a loop, but The Proposal held up relatively well, considering, and now qualifies as a genuine hit.  It’s going to make $100 million, and for a movie starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, that’s awesome.  Both are suddenly bankable, at least on paper and in contract negoatiation meetings.

(3)  The Hangover ($17.2 million, $4884 per screen, $183.2 million total):  Dropping 36% this weekend (steeper than has been the case, but still good), The Hangover continues to chug along.  It’ll pass the $200 million mark sometime around the 4th of July, marking a time of celebration for missing-toothed dentists and roofie salesmen everywhere.

(4)  Up ($13 million, $3741 per screen, $250.2 million total):  It’ll take a big hit this week when Ice Age 3 opens and takes away most of its 3D screens, but even if Up earned nary another dime in cinemas, it’s had an awesome run.  And the fact is, it’s not finished.  It’s a long, long way to $300 million, but Up might have what it takes to get there.  Then again, it might not: it was down nearly 45% this weekend, a steeper drop than it has been experiencing, which suggests that families opted for Autobots instead of Octogenarians this weekend.  With Transformers and Ice Age on screens, and the kids at Hogwarts just arund the corner, the competition may simply be too fierce for Pixar to hit $300 million with Up.  If so, nobody will feel it was a let-down.

(5)  My Sister’s Keeper ($12 million, $4616 per screen):  I’m nt sure anybody expected much from this movie, so with that in mind, My Sister’s Keeper actually had a pretty good weekend.  Per screen, it made more than Up, in fact.  With the choices for adults still pretty slim, this might be able to stick around for a few weeks and end up being a mild sleeper hit.

(6)  Year One ($5.8 million, $1918 per screen, $32.2 million total):  Plummeting 70% this weekend, Year One is clearly not a well-liked film.  It’s going to make even less than Land of the Lost, probably putting an end to comedies set in ancient times for a while.

(7)  The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 ($5.4 million, $1803 per screen, $53.4 million total):  Dropping another 55%, this movie is simply not doing very well.  It isn’t an outright bomb, but it was misplaced in the summer, and Sony is probably kicking themselves for it.

(8)  Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian ($3.6 million, $1619 per screen, $163.3 million total):  Down 53%, the museum-comes-to-life movie was obviously hurt by the robotic-cars-come-to-life movie.  Of the two, I’d pick the one with Amy Adams, but hey, that’s just me.

(9)  Star Trek ($3.6 million, $1978 per screen, $246.2 million total):  Given that Transformers 2 will make as much in something like ten days, it’s hard to get too impressed by Star Trek‘s total gross.  But it is fairly impressive, and the movie continues to play well from week to week.  It made more per screen this weekend than the three films above it in the top ten, which is a good sign of how devoted people are to it.  I continue to wonder, though, if it’s new fans finding it each weekend, or if Trekkies are just going to see it nine times each.  I’m hoping it’s about half and half.

(10)  Away We Go ($1.6 million, $3390 per screen, $4 million total):  Making a surprise appearance in the top 10, the Sam Mendes dramedy expanded to semi-wide status this weekend, and got decent results.  Clearly, this is no Little Miss Sunshine or Juno, at least not yet, but if Focus can continue to get good results from the larger cities, maybe the smaller burgs will follow suit.  It’s going to be hard to get those screens freed up, though.  Netflix will be the beneficiary of this one.

Next weekend should be an absolute barnburner.  With one Optimus Prime-sized colossus already in theatres, the industry also offers up a 3D sequel to a very popular animated series.  Oh yeah, and some Johnny Depp gangster movie, too.

My prediction for Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs is that for the five-day, it makes over $100 million and ends up in first place.  This could easily fail, however, if Transformers manages to hold its audience.  I’m betting half of it evaporates, but if that doesn’t happen, it’ll be on top for a second straight weekend, and Ice Age will have to settle for the silver.

As for Public Enemies, it’s a dark horse, but also a bit of a wild card (if I may be allowed that many metaphors in a single sentence).  The appeal of Johnny Depp shouldn’t be underestimated, and neither should the perpetual appeal of the gangster flick.  Also, there haven’t been too many movies lately for grownups.  If all of those factors come together just right, John Dillinger will be culturally relevant again; if it doesn’t, then we’ve got a movie that is going to fail to make much of a dent.  Personally, I think the latter scenario is the likeliest: I’m predicting $30 million for the five-day.