Loaded Couch Potatoes

Sloth review last night new episode Chuck, “Chuck Versus the First Kill.”  Sloth love spoiler.

Last week on Chuck, Sloth not watch preview for this week episode Chuck, so Sloth not know there be no Sam Beckett or Clark Griswold on this week Chuck.  Sloth should have watch preview for this week Chuck; Sloth might know about sad absence of those people this week.  Sloth kinda piss, but Sloth can only be piss at self.

Sloth not make same mistake twice.  This week, Sloth watch commerical for next week Chuck, which include appearance by Captain Archer and President Ford.  Sloth happy now!  Sloth wish was next week tomorrow!

Sloth not overly thrill by tonight episode, to tell truth.  Was okay, but not Sloth favorite episode ever.  Sloth become preoccupy by plot hole such as why no customer ever come into Orange Orange to buy frozen yogurt?  Orange Orange not seem to have any employee other than Sarah.  Not make sense!

Sloth try and focus on positive.  Focus not Sloth strong point.

At Buy More, Emmett have employee on best behavior so he do well on evaluation when corporate visitor show up.  Morgan decide this what Emmett want them to do, so he do opposite: have Jeff, Lester, et cetera misbehave wanton.  Sloth not understand!  Morgan constant pull shenanigan like this; why they not all get fire?  Job market in toilet; ought be easy to find entry-level employee to replace Morgan and other fart-about employee.  Sloth think Emmett terrible manager.

As turn out, Emmett trick Morgan … his plan all along to get Big Mike fire so Emmett can become new store manager!  Sloth break Emmett neck if he get hold of it!  Emmett previously appear on Arrested Development.  Sloth not understand that show, so he give Emmett neck extra firm grip for that.  Sloth feel sorry for Big Mike, who now have to wear green shirt and smell Jeff breath all day.

Chuck try desperate to find father, who kidnap by Fulcrum last week.  Chuck not find him, though.  If NBC expect Chuck to find father, why NBC not put Scott Bakula in this episode?  Chuck never find him that way!  Chuck, knowing Scott Bakula not in episode, go to NSA jail and get Jill release so she can help.  They pose married couple, go to Jill house only to be meance by Jill uncle, who play by scary naked fat man from Borat, who thankfully not naked in this episode.  Chuck have better costume design than Borat!  Unfortunate for Chuck, scary not-naked fat man die of heart attack while trying kill Chuck, so Chuck learn nothing from him.  This offensive to fat people!  Fat people not always die from heart attack when trying kill people!  Scary not-naked fat man deserve better!  Should sue!

When Chuck see scary not-naked fat man, Chuck flash on him.  For no reason Sloth aware of, snippet of “Hungry Like Wolf” by Duran Duran play in background.  Sloth lol!  Sloth lol so loud!  Sloth enjoy use of music from king of all decade!  Sloth also thrill by use of Twisted Sister “We’re Not Gonna Take It” later in episode.  Sloth think Dee Snyder name might actual be Dee Fratelli!  Lol!

Sloth also enjoy when Casey enter Jill house and is greet by Jill father, who does jovial yuppie fake-punch to midsection.  Casey nearly punch Jill father for real, have to be restrain by Sarah.  Sloth love Casey!

Later, scary dead not-naked fat guy cell phone ring, and Chuck answer.  This result in plot to infiltrate Fulcrum office building and recapture Orion.  Sloth think this retard, and Sloth ought know!  Casey and Sarah really think Fulcrum not recognize son of Orion?  Sloth say that fucking stupid as hell.

Chuck, of course, get capture, have to be save by Jill, whom he let go because he feel bad about make her think she be let go by NSA if she cooperate.  Earlier, Jill tell Chuck, “NSA, Fulcrum, CIA, they’re all the same, they all lie; they’re not gonna let you go, either, Chuck.”

Jill absolute correct!  General Beckman order Sarah and Casey bring Chuck in to put him underground forever for own protection.  She shut down Human Intersect project!  This make Sloth holler!  Sloth choke General Beckman he ever find her!  Sloth probably not rape her first, but Sloth make no promise!

Sarah seem about to betray Chuck, but she tip him off.  Sarah make good decision; she not want Sloth wrath.

Sloth also notice:

At Fulcrum, somebody tell somebody else to move Orion to Black Rock.  Is this Lost reference?  Sloth HATE Lost!!!!!  Sloth so confuse by fifth season, Sloth head almost turn normal shape!

When Big Mike demote, Big Mike kiss Morgan on lip.  This very normal for male-male bonding.  But Big Mike recite dialogue inspire by The Godfather Part II, which Sloth recall as being use by Michael to indicate eminent death of Fredo due to familial betral.  (Sloth find much Shakespearean tragedy in Godfather series.)  This mean Big Mike and Morgan not experience male-male bonding.  Kiss on lip not make sense under those circumstance.  Sloth have unusual feeling Sloth not think about further.

Sloth also notice Ellie and Devon not in this episode.  Sloth warn Devon right now, if Ellie not in this episode because Devon punch her in face for not having dinner ready in timely fashion, Sloth hunt Devon down, repeatedly shove broken-off chair leg up Devon rectum until blood loss result in death.  Devon not be so awesome when bleed out through anus at Sloth hand.  Not hit Ellie, no matter how late dinner!  Sloth willing be patient until next week episode.  Sloth temporary give Devon benefit of doubt.  Sloth still suggest Devon watch back.  Devon sleep with eye open if Devon know what good for self.